I'm doing awful, my in real life friends say I'm manipulative but in reality the only thing I hold back is stuff that would make them uncomfortable. 100% of my energy goes into managing my own emotions and trying to maintain relationships and while there is a ton of stuff I suck about like impulsivity, intensity, emotional outbursts, etc. I don't consider myself manipulative and it is breaking my heart to hear people I trust say that about me. Especially because it took me basically begging for an answer as to why I'm being ignored to get to that point. Its a catch 22 really, I either am fully open and scare people away because I'm way too much or I regulate my ups and downs but then come across as fake and manipulative. Not to mention that I never ever know if I'm just splitting or if I have the right to be hurt by others. and they can so easily twist things to be my fault.

Thingies I have been doing lately:

Guitar!! I'm trying to learn it but I've got tiny hands and feel like I can't reach the right frets to make most chords, it is a struggle.

I got my tongue pierced!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't eat for like 3 days lmao I got a cool pill piercing for jewlery I will upload a pic later if I remember!!!

Listening to: A bunch of old emo stuff like SayWeCanFly and NeverShoutNever, when the feels are hitting hard my nostaligic roots take hold, they don't make emo bois like they used to

Go back